April 06, 2004 @ 3:57 a.m.
Retarded, I know

In addition to the quiz I partook in this evening, I felt the need to get the following incident out of my system, so here goes:

Saturday night I engaged in a huge argument with one of the sixteen-year-old bus-persons at our favorite restaurant.

Knowing that The Owner had married his long time girlfriend a few weeks ago, on the way to our favorite restaurant, we picked up a gift card and a few scratch-off lottery tickets.

Late into the evening, he remembered the tickets and started scratching them in the hopes of winning a few million. I had barely crossed my fingers when this six teen year old loud mouth bus-person yelled out, "You just want him to win so that you get half."

First off, I knew this "discussion" would go nowhere but south.

It started with a high school�er, making a high school statement and would most likely end there� high school.

But by that time I had a few Godiva martinis, and she had already annoyed the shit out of me for most of the night with her big mouth.

I was not letting this one go.

I informed her that I would never expect anyone to give me a portion of the winnings from a lottery ticket I purchased for them as a gift.

I believe the term "lying bitch" exited the mouth of this supposed young lady that attends a prestigious prep school and as a result I went ballistic.

The Brooklyn in me came out.

The Husband had his first shot of Absinthe a few minutes earlier, and therefore was fifteen or twenty paces behind the conversation. He was mesmerized with the silver coating over the possible winning numbers that The Owner was quietly rubbing off with a coin, and completely unaware of the fight that was ensuing.

I�m cognizant of the fact that I was being equally immature by even taking her statement as an insult. Nevertheless, when someone insults my integrity I automatically go into �total bitch mode� regardless of the circumstances.

If I have a few drinks in me, I become �monster bitch�.

What for, is exactly what I gave this young, seemingly unimpressionable, barely menstruating, t***.

I politely educated her in the rules of etiquette, the sin of greed and briefly outlined the art of being a generally good person.

Okay, so I wasn�t polite the entire time.

I�m also seven inches taller then she is and twice her size.

She cowered in the corner for a few minutes and then quickly exited the building, much to my pleasure.

Thinking I had gone too far, I quieted down for a bit, when to my astonishment The Owner gave me a very high five.

I felt much so better about making yet another enemy.

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