June 29, 2005 @ 12:26 a.m.
Five Things


List five things that society in general apparently enjoys or tolerates but that you just don't get:

~1) The need for a return address label on the envelopes of my bills

Didn’t they print their own damned address on the payment slip?

~2) Squeaky Shoes for Toddlers

The latest trend in child wear in NYC

Each step creates a loud squeak to, quote, “make learning to walk fun”.

Oh how cute.

How about I throw those shoes, with your child still in them, of course, out the friggin’ window?

~ 3) Reality Television

Stop it!!

Stop it!!

Stop it!!

~ 4) Pre-made Couch Slip Covers

For the love of god, why can’t some one invent a slip cover that doesn’t become untucked as a result of the slightest movement?

~ 5) The mispronunciation of words

Of course, the most famous is the President of the United States (see nu-cu-lar vs. nu-clee-ar) and perhaps no one is comfortable enough in their position to correct the nincompoop, but holy hell.

Draw-wer as opposed to Drawer
Lib-ary as opposed to library
Sup-pos-ably as opposed to supposedly

Or my personal favorite
Heineken remover as opposed to Heimlich maneuver

My former employee, #1, when in search of double sided tape would say “double face-ded tape”.

Man, I wanted to lynch her every time the words left her mouth.

Okay, tis my turn to TAG five people.




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