June 28, 2004 @ 11:11 p.m.
Anti-Christ Concert Series

Once again I have opened my mouth before thinking and have managed to commit to something I had no intention of ever doing. I simply mentioned it and before I knew it I was a chaperone.

For a Linda Ronstadt concert

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the day after I return from Florida

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with my mother

The free show is being held in a park near work and I happily brought it up to her knowing what a big fan she is.

Why, oh why, do I allow myself to be swindled into these things?

The last time this happened, a Neil Diamond concert, I made up a story about a prior engagement and with nothing better to do and I sat in a K-Mart parking lot for several hours until I thought it was late enough to go home.

I don�t think I can pull that off a second time.

The thing is, I�m not sure which aspect of this is worse. Linda Ronstadt or my mother.

I was spat from the womb �bangin� my head� and with the exception of a brief stint as a dancing queen in the �freestyle� age, I will always be a rocker chick.

Linda Ronstadt, and Neil Diamond for that matter, are the anti-Christ (or anti-Christs in this case) in the rocker community. Regardless of the fact that she boffed Don Henley. I don�t even want to know who Neil Diamond boffed.

The point is, if I am seen at an anti-Christ concert I might be exiled from the rocker community for eternity. Chris Cornell, Angus Young, Bruce Dickinson and Zack DeLa Rocha would be obligated to urinate on me, a turncoat, if I ever crossed their path. I don�t know if I can live with that.

Don�t get me wrong I have rocked out to America and lip-synched to Blue Bayou on occasion, but in the privacy of my home. With the doors locked and the blinds closed, of course.

Then there is the fact that I�ll be in the same space with my mother for more than a minute and we all know how I feel about that.

My only hope it that the return flight is delayed due to a monsoon and I�ll miss the whole thing.

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