December 18, 2007 @ 7:45 p.m.
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Sunflower seeds.

I believe I have single handedly bought out every bag of sunflower seeds on Staten Island and now have to travel to other boroughs to get my fix. This is because when it comes to addictions I always have to take it to the extreme.

Like that time with the LSD or that Brazilian prostitute.

At this point I am up two about 2 cups of salted (and shelled) sunflower seeds per day which according to my calculations is about 873 seeds per day, or 72.75 seeds per 12 waking hours.

I know this is way too much, but that�s mostly because by the time I head towards the bedroom the inside of my mouth and my lips are completely numb from the salt.

There have been injuries as well. You see, my method of consumption is to take about 10 to 15 seeds, toss them in my mouth and store them in my left cheek, much like a hamster, and with my tongue pull them, one by one, to the other side and place it vertically between my molars where I apply firm and steady pressure to the shell. I then use my tongue to move it to my front teeth, where I hold it and use my tongue to force the seed out of the shell. On more than one occasion, however, the shell did not open as I expected it to and rather clamped down on my tender taste buds.

Fucking OUCH people.

I�m terribly riveting these days aren�t I?

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