June 27, 2006 @ 11:40 p.m.
The Scale

I made the grave mistake of stepping on the bathroom scale this morning.

Just when in the hell did that happen?

Granted, I have not set foot on the scale for more than a year but I was not expecting that particularly sobering number... although in retrospect, I really should have. I mean, hell, I buy my own clothes and I do own a mirror, so I knew it was happening.

Alas, I pretty much ignored my growing waistline, much like Jason Bonham pretty much ignored the fact that he is not and will never be his father.

I just hope it is not too late.

I�m thirty-five, lazy as all get out and need to loose (realistically) my age in pounds, perhaps more, if I am ambitious.

Tomorrow is Wednesday and Wednesday is as good a day as any to put oneself on a strict diet of succotash and mineral water, with a healthy dose of the dreaded SPIT, SPIT treadmill and ephedrine.

If all else fails, I�m certain one of my ex-boyfriends can provide me with some crack-cocaine.

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