June 26, 2006 @ 12:22 a.m.
Here Comes Trouble

Lady From Two Doors Down: Evil, did you know that you have been feeding raccoons?

Evil: Yes. Did you know that your nineteen year old son was fucking his extremely vocal girlfriend on your back deck this weekend, keeping me awake until all hours of the night, whilst you and your 99 Cent Store floatation devices were frolicking along the Jersey Shore?

Ahhh the joys of homeownership!

I just knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

In the last few weeks, there have been TWO articles in the local news paper about the discovery of rabies on Staten Island (one a raccoon and the other a litter of kittens found in an abandoned lot).

As I read them, I predicted (here I go again with this psychic ability) that these reports would bring me trouble from my neighbors.

Most of you already know that I have been feeding two stray cats, named Dallas and Two-Bit (as in The Outsiders) for years.

These days they don�t look quite as cute as they do in this photo, after all these years they are all scraggly and life torn, but I love them just the same.

Alas, where there is food there are raccoons and by feeding Dallas and Two-Bit, I have been inadvertently feeding the animal kingdom of Staten Island over the years.

Besides, Dallas and Two-Bit were the ones responsible for brining the simply delicious Brooklyn to my door, who now is spoiled with the good life of central air conditioning, hardwood floors and mattresses.

I don�t know exactly how I am going to deal with this "complaint" but I will not stop caring for The Outsiders..

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