February 10, 2008 @ 5:27 p.m.
She's A Whore

I know, I know I am such a goddamned slacker.

I used to write entries every day, if not twice a day. Lord knows I have a lot to write about these days. But I just can’t be bothered to get the words down on paper (or the screen in this case).

Maybe I need a change, a new layout or a new location.

Anyways, the other day MotorMouth walks up to my desk and whispers to me, “I’m a whore.”

First of all, I really could give two shits about this fact and why she decided to pass this information along to me is a mystery but I figured I should respond in some way.

“Right, so did you finish ordering those forms we need?”

“Eeeeeevil?” she whined

“Whaaaaaahut?” I replied

“I’m a whore” she repeated.

So despite my oh so subtle hint that I didn’t want to hear it, it seemed that she wanted to elaborate further.

Long story short, the chippy passed on her virginity along to a subway conductor, the very same virginity that up until this point she has quite vocally very proud of.

Being the kind and sympathetic soul that I am I gave her this advice: “Well don’t be upset if he never calls you again”

Hehe.

My favorite thing about MotorMouth is that she never ceases to give me ample opportunities to make cracks at her. She’s young and had not yet learned the art of not leaving oneself open for my clever retorts.

Later on in the day:

MotorMouth: “Eeeeeevillllll! Look my belt broke.”

Evil: “Look, go take some rope and create a makeshift belt until you get home.

MotorMouth: runs rope through the belt loops on her jeans and makes several knots Perfect, now my pants won’t fall down”

LOL! I mean really. How could I not?

Evil: “Well good. Then maybe it will be a little harder for the next guy to get down there.”

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